I’m back, did someone miss me?
I was spending some days with my muy, happier than I’ve ever been
It was really good
I had to take him to the bus station, crying waterfalls and aaahh
i miss him so much already ):
most of time i feel like i am a actual horrible person and I don’t really feel like living man
I feel so inert about life
things feel colourless
my head is a void
and i’m really losing my motivation
My bones and my chest feel so heavy.
my house doesn’t feel like home anymore
my room isn’t my salt ring anymore
I don’t truly thrust mostly of my friends anymore
I feel really uncomfortable talking about my feelings because I think people will think that I make too much drama, and I am overdramatizing something that ohh this could be so smaller
i don’t like my tumblr anymore
I don’t really think I fit with anything
and I really do believe i am a bad, stupid person.
I am hypocrital as fuck
i don’t like at all writing this
my lungs feel heavy
I feel like
the storms in between
are taking my lighthouse away
sometimes In my wondering times bout life, I just think how people we love has been hurt in all their life, and the choices they made based on those experiences and thinking about that just makes me sad because I can’t help everyone — better saying, I guess anyone — but I just want to cover people in a blanket and tell that everything is going to be fine but fuck i’m just unhelpful for everything gosh
No one takes me higher
No one takes me lower
Than he does.
sometimes i just want to write down a bunch of cute stuff I think about him like how I think he got the cutest laugh ever and that he has nice hair and the sexiest voice ever and I just want to hug him all day and and and like a bunch of stuff
we might have some discussions sometimes and i get kinda sad about it but still I just like him too much and let me throw some flowers around and kiss his face or something and then make some kinky shit and ahhhhh buy a box of cookies just to thank about his wonderful wonderful existence and everything
i suddenly got happy and awwh i want to be with him and make him hot chocolate with whipped cream and do my best morrissey imitation and talk about nothing all dawn
life is just so frustrating ugh jesus
Those days have been about some ups and downs